聊天的话题分成合理话题和失效话题。你与一个钢铁直男大谈唇膏护肤品和品牌包，如同男生与你聊轿车足球队一样，是沒有兴趣爱好相交的，这就是失效话题。因此 ，为了更好地促使话题合理，就免不了顺水推舟，你平常的情况下能够 多掌握一些男生善于的新项目，例如轿车、体育运动、电子设备、手机游戏这些。此外，还能够用“同屏多脉络聊天法”来提升话题的实效性。例如：
Do you know how to chat with people you like? There is a kind of awkwardness in chatting called: most afraid of the air suddenly quiet. Indeed, chatting with the opposite sex, especially with the opposite sex you like, is the most afraid of awkward chat. There is a hot topic on Zhihu: "what can I do if I can't find a topic after 15 minutes of chatting with someone I like?" Hello everyone, I'm a mentor of Jane's love sense. I have been focusing on the emotional industry for more than 8 years. I have helped 10W + students recover their love. I mainly solve four major emotional problems for you: love recovery, marriage repair, emotional warming, charm enhancement, shooting down on male gods, and teaching you how to save your lover and get true love through actual combat.
If you want to become chatty, want to improve your chat, improve your love level, get mine directly, click (click and copy the tutor number, and add friends in the search) to tell the tutor your emotional problems directly! At the same time, my circle of friends will update a large number of chat skills and the skills of boys to get along with each other every day. In addition, the top ten plus tutors will also receive a gift package worth 2999 yuan!
In fact, many girls and boys, do not know how to chat, the air suddenly filled with "embarrassed" atmosphere, do not know what to talk about. Like this: Girl: what are you doing? Boy: at work. Girl: Oh! Like this: Girl: what do you do? Boy: IT industry. Girl: it's said that your it men are very dull ~ boys: ···· why is there an embarrassing situation? Why can't we find a topic? You end up with a lot of talk. Why?
In addition to the influence of "intransitive / extroverted" factors, researchers from Sam Houston State University in the United States have also found that there are three aspects of psychological barriers in interpersonal communication: (1) experience area: including people's background, concept, values, prejudice, needs and expectations, etc., the speaker can only code and receive information in the context of his / her experience field When the sender's domain of experience overlaps little with that of the receiver, communication becomes difficult. (2) Filtering: it means that what we often see and hear is not what we see and hear emotionally. Filtering is caused by our own needs and interests. Many people only care about themselves, which virtually reduces the possibility of meeting with others and having common topics with them. (3) Psychological distance: if the communicator presupposes that the other party doesn't want to communicate with himself or is worried about the negative feedback of the other party, this idea will hinder the opportunity of effective communication.
This is the crux of most topic terminators, and it is also the essential reason why they fall into awkward conversation. If we want to improve this situation, we should start from the source of interest and topic overlap, and stimulate the source power of the other party to chat with you. If you are suffering from the lack of motivation to chat, can't arouse the interest of the other party, and you are not willing to give up like this, you can click to add a teacher, teach you how to return to him word by word, Bonnie can turn the situation around and become his inseparable woman. It's a kind of atmosphere, that is to say, it's not a kind of fun to chat with boys. This is also a concrete manifestation of high Eq. As Cai Kangyong said, "you are what you say." Mastering certain chatting skills is a necessary way to high EQ, a necessary skill to avoid detours in love, and an effective means to avoid awkward chat. So how can we avoid awkward chat and become a topic Terminator?
01. Topic extension
Different frequency extension of topics refers to the extension of cross channel topics from the information replied by the other party, so as to expand your thinking, from large to macro time, place and environment, from small to real people, work, life, meals, etc. Because there are direct and indirect connections between things in the world, through these connections, we can jump from one node to another to extend the topic. For example:
Girl: what are you doing? Boy: at work. So what should girls do next? If it's off-duty time or weekend, the other party is still working overtime. He has to jump out of the "work" channel and transfer to other channels, such as "time" channel, "economy" channel and "leadership" channel, to extend the topic. Want to know more tips for extending the topic? Click the green button to add a teacher, reply "extended topic", the tutor will send you dozens of tips to keep your topic going!
(1) Switch from "work" channel to "time" channel girl: you are still working overtime at this time. What do you do specifically? So hard! (2) From "work" channel to "economy" channel girl: do you have to work overtime on weekends? Can you get a lot of money for paid overtime? (add a glowing expression pack) (3) switch from "work" channel to "leader" channel
Girl: your boss is really harsh. Why don't you just fire your boss
No matter what the other person replies to you next, you touch the other person from the emotional point, and also touch the field of two people's common experience, increasing the overlap of topics. In this way, you won't fall into the awkward situation of having nothing to talk about. Moreover, because the topic sublimates to the psychological level emotional point, so it is easy to let the other party have a good impression on you.
02. Same frequency and multi context continuation
The topic of chat is divided into effective topic and invalid topic. You talk about lipstick, cosmetics and bags with a straight man, just like a boy talking about car football with you. You have no interest intersection. This is an invalid topic. Therefore, in order to make the topic effective, you can learn more about the projects that boys are good at, such as cars, ball games, electronic products, games, etc. In addition, we can use the same frequency and multi context chat method to increase the effectiveness of the topic. For example:
Boy: let's go to the cinema after dinner. Girl: good!
This kind of answer directly ended the topic, so how to expand it and keep the topic going? (1) Take the topic to a larger context, and you can reply, "OK, what movies do you like to watch?" "Well, besides watching movies, what else do you like to do Keep the channel of watching movies unchanged, raise the topic to a larger concept, and start from the context of a wider range of information contained in "usually like ···", and stimulate the other party to express what he likes to do. The other party may say, "I still like playing ball games and eating chicken at ordinary times." wait. (2) Extend the topic to the same context: "OK, where are we going to see a movie?" Still stay in the movie channel, and then shift the topic to the context of "place".
(3) Extend the topic to a more detailed context
"Well, what kind of movies do you like to watch?" There are different types of "film", which contain more detailed and specific information, such as the main actors, social elements involved, etc., covering a lot of topics. No matter which context you choose to continue the topic, you should know that boys prefer to think from a macro rational point of view, while girls like to focus on personal feelings. Therefore, we should understand that the message conveyed by the other party is that you think it affects the atmosphere, but the other party thinks it is reasonable, and then use chat skills to guide the atmosphere of the whole topic, so as not to fall into no topic to talk about.
Grasp the core needs of men's psychology, you can quickly occupy any man's heart. If you think it's hard to do so, you feel that you can't do it, but you don't want to miss the God of God. Now add a teacher to teach you how to chat and "tease"! The influence of subconsciousness on subconsciousness can shorten the psychological distance between them from the level of intimacy. We use "we" and "we" and so on. This kind of expression can create a sense of intimacy and familiarity even when we meet for the first time. For example, after you have finished eating, your partner further asks you to go to the cinema. Well, where to see it Well, where are we going to see it, where are we going to see it, when does our movie start, and which movie do we watch Subconsciously implant the illusion that you are one, give each other a sense of intimacy and familiarity, and stimulate the other party's original motivation to chat. Even if you don't have a topic, the other party will actively and continuously create topics.
Finally, we should enrich our topic resource circle from the aspect of self. Make your life rich and colorful, such as reading a book, watching a movie, going to a place in the city that is very interesting but few people know, enjoying food, fitness, sports, music, traveling / traveling around, meeting friends, learning to recharge, etc. In this way, we can keep ourselves fresh forever, and the topic resources will continue to flow.
Well, brothers, today's heavy dry goods, and miss sister to share here. Finally, I want to say that love can be learned and chatting can be learned. If you don't understand, you have to learn. If you don't know, you have to ask. No matter what industry to learn, the fastest way is to learn from experienced professional teachers!
In the past eight years, we have cooperated with tens of thousands of client clients to help them fulfill their love wishes. In this process, our own professional experience has been constantly accumulated and improved, so as to achieve accurate customer requirements! If you can't chat now? Can't date? Don't fall in love or break up and want to save your boyfriend. If you want to pursue the girl you like by learning the right way, or save the beloved one, add a tutor and consult with the tutor one-on-one. The tutor will teach you the specific operation methods and give you suggestions!
Do you know how to chat with people you like? Everyone must have the consciousness of learning and changing. If you don't know, you will ask and you will learn. If you don't ask, then you will never. If you don't learn, you will never have a topic. There is no way! Love can be learned, and chatting can also be learned. If you want to quickly find a boyfriend or retrieve a boyfriend, add a tutor to tell your emotional problems to your tutor, who will help you with detailed analysis and guidance! In addition, if you have any chat problems or emotional confusion, then you can click on the teacher's portrait to chat with me directly! Moreover, there are a lot of chat topics and dating skills in the tutor's circle of friends. You can add tutors to learn!