I've known my blind date for three or four months. At first, I got together because of the same personal hobbies, but I didn't have a strong liking for Weicheng relationship. Recently, the way of communication between you and me is very strange. He always sends me information after I fall asleep and talks it out unilaterally. I hate that way of communication. What should I do.
Female: 25 years old, looks medium level, not a minus. Shanghai native, with a house, a car and no loan. Graduate student, British job search, returned student employment, monthly salary 10000 before tax, after tax salary 8500, financial statement analysis of foreign-funded enterprises.
Male: 26 years old, with good stature, that is to say, there are dark purple pustules on the face, endangering the appearance of 3-4 bar. Shanghai natives have houses, cars and loans. Undergraduate, monthly salary before tax than I do, and often out of the daily task after the subsidy.
To sum up, that is to say, I am higher than him in the standard of appearance diploma at home, and he is higher than me in his own economic development and status, and his stability in work. We have known each other for about three or four months. At the beginning, because of the same personal hobbies (Japanese anime and a mobile game that we both played before but now has been closed), we have many common topics.
I and the blind date object should be all dangerous into the relationship, but not very strong. A month later, the connection was a little weak, but he confessed to me that we were only a little afraid of what loved me.
People make better decisions. During the period, they sometimes make dinner appointments to watch TV dramas without touching their bodies. In the past month, she said that people's Association is very strange. She said that she should take care of herself and make me feel uneasy. Therefore, she didn't contact him for several days. Later, he sent a screen capture, which was sent after I fell asleep.
The next day, because I was frank, people had a good time with each other. They were more active, but they still didn't touch each other. The theme activity was to have dinner and watch TV series.
Yesterday, I promised to make an appointment today, but I suddenly broke my appointment. He came to leave a message on the message board after I fell asleep. I hate his way of communication. The next day, after apologizing again for the pigeon, she told him that because he didn't want to quarrel with me, I thought it was very unprovoked.
I think it's strange for people to interact with each other. How can we create a further connection? Now I feel that I often can't understand what he is trying to do. I just tend to communicate, but every time he talks to me unilaterally after I sleep.
Response from Huazhen emotional teacher:
I have two suggestions for you
1. Understand why the blind date makes you say so much after you sleep.
The reason is very simple, such a person's mind is actually too heavy, he likes to think a lot of things and fear to be cut off. When he narrates such a large paragraph, it must be because he is willing to express his ideas in detail. If you look at your chat records, you can actually see that there are many negative messages in the whole process of chatting, so that you deny the other party. For example, he said, "the method of understanding is wrong", "I feel that you are very depressed and stressed.".
Besides, he can't say anything other than "allergic to girls' skin" according to his defensive ability. Apart from being able to explain his own thoughts by asking you to send a large paragraph after you sleep, he has no way to express his inner words to you in daily life. It is a situation shown in the communication between the two of us. Then you just accept him and ask him to talk about him. (emotional questions can be added to the teacher's letter)
2. Talk less and meet more. The two of you chatted about on the letter, but they couldn't get the meaning.
We haven't got the ability to express each other's language. We should be down-to-earth just by chatting with each other. If you can meet each other, at least you can see the other side's small expression. Although the two of you are not necessarily very good at identifying and explaining small expressions, it's better to be a loafer than to chat and come for no reason. Maybe they often feel that there is no reason, that is to say, they may not be able to see the other side's small expression and receive the appropriate information content.
Similarly, he can't properly convey the meaning he wants to express. Because you stand him up, he will find it difficult to understand why you suddenly have an emergency for no reason. However, no matter what happens, it must be more important than a tryst with him.
There is no such thing as breaking an appointment all over the world, only the arrangement of the key degree. When all the people said they had no time, they were actually saying "this is not the key.". Therefore, the pigeon you put on actually means that it is not the key, and other things are more important.
So how to express this thing? Only zero distance. In addition, he can only understand why you stood him up when he is at zero distance from you.
In other words, chat less and meet more, especially for people like you who don't have rich and colorful emotional experiences. If you recognize the other party's mentality by meeting more, you will have a greater opportunity to improve their relationship.