摘要:分手之后,很多人都想去挽回,但是又觉得很难,不会成功,但事实上却不是的,挽回其实并没有像多数人那样说的很难。 至于为什么会有那么多人说很难,其实是因为他们都在挽回当中二次触碰了对方的底线,也就是再一次伤害到了对方,这才使得挽回变得很难。所以说挽回更多的不是你做对了多少事,相反是你没做错多少事,挽回不像其他的事,能够给你足够的机会去试错,最后找出一条最优

分手之后,很多人都要想去挽回但是又觉得无法,不易获得成功,但事实上却并并不是的,挽回事实上并沒有像绝大多数人那样说的无法。

针对为什么会有那么多的人说无法,事实上是因为他们全是在挽回当中二次触碰了另一方的做人的底线,也就是再一次危害到另一方,这才促进挽回愈来愈无法。

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所以说挽回很多的不是你做恰当了多少事,相反便是你没犯错误多少事,挽回不象其他的事,能够使你充裕的机会去尝试错误,最后寻找一条最优解,相反倘若它再一次触犯了在这其中做人的底线,那么复合性就的确愈来愈遥遥无期了。

因此,你需要想的挽回就尽量要防止下面这类事造成。

掌握分寸的回忆

之前的回忆确实很美,你爱他,他也深爱着你,但是回忆再美也只是之前,因为它代表着的只是过去,仅有说明过去大伙儿相爱。

但是有些人就是弄不懂这一大大道理,好似之前有一个粉丝,她总觉得就算她和前任提出分手,但是倘若能够经常在前任眼下谈起过去的一点一滴,就可以再度激发前任对本身爱意。

确实回忆可以激发之前的柔美,但是此外他还可以激发之前负面消息印象,就比如这名粉丝的前任就马上和她讲,你快不要说以往,你忘了你过去多么的的太过去了沒有?你忘记你自己做的那些事了沒有?接着就沒有接着了。

看到了吧,回忆是一把双刃刀,稍运用一不小心便会有很有可能危害了本身。

掌握分寸的热情

热情这个东西掌握好了熟度,能够帮你熊熊燃烧情感。

但倘若过多或者发射点不够,就很可能越弄越糟。

别不敢相信,我的很多学员都是那般,在这其中一个叫我印象格外难以忘怀,她那时好像是把工作中上都丢了,一心一意地去挽回,这并不就是在一个有误的方向当中耗光热情。

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结果也在我的预料之中,那就是前任给她发表一段绝情的话,并且警告她不必来烦他。

因而你以为她那麼努力,方向不对,这类全白费。

掌握分寸的态度

坏的态度分二种,一种是太多地讨好,希望依据触动另一方来保证复合性的目的,也有一种是极端主义地极端化,希望依据痛骂来让对愧疚,接着与之复合性。

自然,无论前边一种还是后边一种,結果都很不大好,在我分析的这类案例当中,像这二种态度的人无一获得成功。

以后由于我总结了,原因就是他们沒有搞清解决问题的适当方式,仅仅希望依据态度能够解决这个问题。

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但是由于太过地重视态度,因而造成 了太多讨好和极端主义极端化的二种态度,这也就导致在挽回的道上越来越偏,最后沒有获得成功也就此后一切正常可是了。

因而现如今你明白了吗?挽回当中最重要的是方向,是无须再一次危害,倘若你真能弄懂这类,那么挽回的确沒有与你想象那么难。

After breaking up, many people want to recover, but feel difficult, not easy to succeed, but in fact it is not, recovery is not as difficult as most people say.
How can so many people say that it is difficult? In fact, it is because they have touched the other party's moral bottom line in the process of recovery, that is, they have damaged the other party again, which makes recovery more and more difficult.
So it's not how many things you have done right that you can recover a lot of things. On the other hand, it's how many things you haven't made mistakes. Recovering things that are not like other things can give you enough opportunities to try to make mistakes and finally find an optimal solution. On the other hand, if it violates the moral bottom line again, then the compound model will become more and more hopeless.
Therefore, if you want to recover, you must avoid the following things.
Remember in a proper way
The past memories are really beautiful, you love her, he also loves you, but no matter how beautiful the memories are, they only mean the past, only show the past love.
But some people just don't understand this. Just like a fan in the past, she always feels that even if she breaks up with her ex, if she can often talk about the past in front of her ex's eyes, she can arouse her ex's affection for herself again.
It's true that memories can arouse the sweetness of the past, but in addition, they can also arouse the negative information of the past. For example, the fan's predecessor immediately told her, don't talk about the past, have you forgotten how much you used to be? Have you forgotten what you did? Then there was no follow.
You see, memory is a double-edged sword. If you use it carelessly, you may damage yourself.
Control the passion of propriety
Passion this thing grasp the maturity, can help you rekindle feelings.
But if it's too much or not enough, it's likely to get worse.
Don't believe it. Many of my students are like that. One of them asked me to imprint it on my heart. At that time, she seemed to have lost everything in her work and tried to recover it wholeheartedly. It's not convenient for her to exhaust her passion in an incorrect position.
The result is also in my expectation, that is, the predecessor sent her a heartless words, and warned her not to bother him.
So don't think that she is so diligent and in the wrong direction. It's all in vain.
A proper attitude
There are two kinds of bad attitudes. One is to please too much and expect to reach a compound goal by moving the other party. The other is to be extreme and expect to make people feel guilty by swearing and then compound with it.
Of course, no matter the former or the latter, the results are not very good. In the example I analyzed, no one with these two attitudes has achieved success.
Later, because I summarized it, the reason is that they didn't find out the proper way to solve the problem. They just expected to deal with the problem according to their attitude.
However, too much emphasis on attitude leads to too many pleasing and extreme attitudes, which leads to more and more deviation in the way of recovery. Finally, it fails to succeed, and everything is normal.
So now do you understand? The most important thing in the recovery is the location. It doesn't need to be damaged again. If you really understand this, then the recovery is not as difficult as you think.